Joseph's "Just My Thoughts"

When money interferes in a relationship, it changes the dynamic. Social norms and market rules come into conflict. For example, imagine a couple on a date, and when the man takes the woman home, he says, “I spent $100 on you today.” Suddenly, a romantic relationship shifts into a market transaction . Messages like “Next time, it’s your turn to pay” and “I did this for you today” appear. The benefits of social norms differ from those of market rules. Both are necessary, but the relationship is affected by when, how, and to whom they are applied. A person who fails to strike a balance between these two aspects risks damaging relationships and harming communities. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

If you think that ‘expressing love is all about love,’ your eyes will not be able to see the other person properly. If you haven’t truly contemplated love, you won’t have the ability to judge whether someone genuinely considers me. In this scenario, there is a high possibility that it will become one of those relationships where the other person is used to beg for affection or is deceived by coaxing . Thinking about love begins with clearly defining what it means to be human in one’s mind. If this premise is flawed, then the feeling of love can destroy the relationship between the two; people may end up blaming the lover. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

We express our attitudes and thoughts through words. Words can also influence our thinking. Choosing and using words that suit the situation helps prevent misunderstandings and fosters relationships. Even those who wake up on the brink of death in a coma do not easily change the words they have been using. Words shape a person, and the person reflects their words. A good way to check and monitor yourself is to write, even if you’re not a professional writer. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

For a business to succeed, kairos, situations, and relationships are all essential. Kairos is an aspect beyond human control, often described as ‘luck.’ It exists within a realm ruled by coincidence and timing. Situation pertains to the interests of the land, encompassing all resources except human resources. Relationships represent human resources that I can cultivate through human unity. Among these three elements, there is a saying that kairos accounts for 70% of success, leaving 30% to other factors. This underscores why we should avoid boasting about our abilities, even in the face of our achievements. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Capability belongs to the individual, while ability extends beyond the individual level, as it is essential for setting goals and achieving performance. This implies that one cannot accomplish results alone. To achieve results, there are factors that transcend the individual and are significantly influenced by kairos, situations, and relationships. No single person can control all of these elements. Kairos refers to divine timing, while situations arise from abilities and relationships, which persist as an authority. The effectiveness of a position is termed power, and Max Weber defined it as “the power to carry out one’s will regardless of the will of others.” - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Can I live by only meeting the people I need? Obviously, some people are essential to me, but not everyone I have a relationship with is there because I need them. So, shouldn’t we connect with people who are less needy? Is my criterion correct? The relationships I have now are a result of meeting both needed and unnecessary people. Regret doesn’t justify my current relationships. We have all encountered precious individuals. The plausible excuse is merely a convenient way to package my priorities and outcomes. Don’t deceive yourself. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

The conversation itself is value-neutral. Good and bad conversations are determined by circumstances and methods. Claiming that having many conversations is inherently good is misleading, as not all conversations are beneficial. Sometimes, silence can convey more than words. Dialogue exchanges information, communicates emotions, and conveys intentions and stances. However, a fruitful conversation can occur only when there is an implicitly respected distance between conversation partners, allowing both to express their intentions and thoughts appropriately within that distance. The reaction to these revealed intentions and thoughts ultimately decides whether to continue the conversation, shift to another topic, or maintain a stagnant relationship. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

We cannot drink water while being immersed in it for survival. Without assistance from the air, it is impossible to drink water. Water is a vital substance for humans, but its intake is only possible when air acts as a medium. What I possess and how I utilize it are very different matters. The same goes for relationships. What brings happiness in a relationship is more important than how close the relationship is. For humans, many situations are pointless if values exist in only one state. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Life can feel joyful when we have many close relationships, but this often gradually brings more anguish as well. Intimacy is also crucial to us, yet just as much as it is, “blatant ignorance” and a “healthy dose of distance” significantly influence our happiness. For instance, I can’t eat meat from a slaughtered cow that I have carefully nursed, but I am content eating the meat from a cow that I did not nurture. The fact that I have made money means my gains are a return for the damages of someone unknown to the economic system of this world, yet I can only be happy because I do not know adequately. Without blatant ignorance and a healthy dose of distance , our happiness deteriorates terribly. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Although it may seem like an exaggeration, relationships are influenced by circumstances beyond just individuals; this extends to their upkeep as well. The interplay between a person’s character, personality, profession, surrounding individuals, and various political and economic factors intricately shapes the development and sustenance of human connections. Therefore, while it’s essential not to overly criticize individuals, it’s equally important not to overlook these influences. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

When someone has done nothing wrong and yet their partner quietly ends the relationship, it’s common for people to question themselves, asking, “What did I do wrong?” However, this quiet disconnection often stems from various factors, not just a lack of goodwill or personal fault. A person distressed by this separation may still harbor deeper emotional wounds. The quiet end of a relationship is not a reflection of anyone’s wrongdoing but is tied to the unique circumstances each individual faces. In such cases, it’s prudent to simply view each other as “unsuited.” Avoid feeling unjustly victimized; instead, let’s remind ourselves, “I’m still a good person.” - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Both arrogance and humility can contribute to our success. While humility is not the sole key to achievement, it enables a connection with someone who genuinely cares. That individual may represent everything I need in life. Ultimately, success can be seen as cultivating a deep bond with the person who truly loves you. If you can nurture multiple meaningful relationships throughout your journey, beyond that loving individual, you should regard yourself as blessed with humility. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Self-love is an essential human instinct, prompting us to prioritize our own survival before others. This instinct makes it challenging to make sacrifices for those around us. However, when we deeply love someone, we essentially extend and project our self-concept onto them. In essence, love involves sharing my self-love with another person. Consequently, love fades when I can no longer see myself reflected in that person. When our self-love becomes distorted, it leads to suffering in our relationships with others. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

When classifying relationships, you might identify three types: those that only give, those that only receive, and those that both give and receive. Typically, you would say that relationships characterized by mutual exchange are the happiest. However, various factors can distort these dynamics, such as a person’s circumstances or emotional pain. As a result, some individuals may prefer or find it necessary to engage in one-sided relationships where they only receive. Unlike mathematical formulas, human relationships are not so straightforward. Nonetheless, to achieve true happiness, relationships must be built on a foundation of reciprocity in giving and receiving. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Humans establish a tacit relationship distance with others without even knowing it. Each person’s relationship distance is different, and it is not permitted to change the distance unless there is a specific reason or motive. Relationship distance is fateful. Sometimes, an event creates an opportunity for others to confirm the unilateral setting of the relationship distance. If the other person agrees to a one-sided distance setting, the relationship continues. All of this is often more informal and tacit. It is nearly impossible for others to change this distance. Therefore, we create a new relationship. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Affection lacking temperance can turn into violence at any time. No matter how much you love, the other person may not ideally match your expectations, so the time comes when the beloved one wants to avoid the affection you’re pouring out or keep away for a while. A relationship that lacks experience in building trust through moderation has no power to continue when dissatisfaction and regret arise. A healthy relationship involves trusting that temperance is not rejection. Relationships, after all, are energy and power. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Humans and the world they inhabit are intricate. We build relationships with one another, rooted in unspoken agreements that reflect sentiments like trust and affection. When hostility arises, I begin to question the underlying implicit agreements. Someone else has a connection with me while being oblivious to my expectations. After experiencing emotional pain due to arguments, we often shift from these unspoken understandings to explicit communication, such as verbal conversations. Still, by then, it may be too late to heal the rift. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

I meet a lot of entrepreneurs from very different fields. All of them have one thing in common. They do not know the nature and essence of their business. Especially in the case of technology-based enterprises, technology is seen as a means to make money. Surprisingly, however, it is often the case that building and managing human relationships, rather than technology, is the core of the business. By separating technology from customer management and collaborating with other business people, I can see an increase in their performance. Instead, they have to give up greed and start. Then their performance is proportional to the amount of patience. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

A relationship of empathy or best friendship is one in which there is a relatively equal exchange of emotions. However, there is an unequal exchange of emotions. Take celebrities and fans, for example, or dictators and people. When the structure of unequal emotional exchange spreads, it inevitably leads to unhappiness. That's what unreciprocated love is all about. The dictator is so too. Therefore, a married couple must have an equal structure of emotional exchange for the relationship to be healthy. - Joseph’s “just my thoughts”

Knowing someone and being friendly with someone are two very different things. Two main ways to build relationships with main motives are affiliation and intimacy. "Affiliation motivation" is the psychological action of getting along with others to avoid rejection. The "intimacy motive" is to increase intimacy with a select few and establish a stable relationship. It would be mentally strained to have more than 10 to 15 relationships. If you feel burdened by human relationships, you must examine your treatment of people with "affinity." The fear of being rejected is what drives the mind. - Joseph’s "just my thoughts”